"What else can happen?!"

There is truth in the old adage that you should never utter the words, "What else can happen?!" Let me tell you what's been going on with The Griswolds these past two weeks.

I woke up on a Monday morning with my left eye matted shut. Gross, isn't it? Too late--you can't unread it now, so stay with me. You know when your eye doctor sells you on 'extended wear' contact lenses, he doesn't literally mean 24/7. You're welcome...I had to be reminded of that the hard way. So, I made an appointment to have my eye treated. Until then, I had to wear my Granny Clampett glasses that I thought looked so chic. And they did...about 10 years ago. Thankfully (for the community's sake) I ordered some hip new frames. Fun, but that meant an unexpected out-of-pocket expense. "What else can happen?"

Wednesday, that's what else. I was herding the two little one toward the door for preschool and noticed the baby didn't have her shoes on. Big surprise. I walked into the den, because of course that's where they're gonna be--not in a closet. I bent over to grab them, lost my balance and may have heard someone yell, "TIMMMBERRR", because baby I fell and I fell HARD. Wrything around on the floor panting and praying, I knew I was h-u-r-t. I thought I'd broken my arm, but remembered if you could wiggle your fingers, not. I could even bend my elbow. What I couldn't do was lift my arm at all. My 4 year old fetched my phone and I called my dearest friend in town to come get me. She two-wheeled me and the kids to the urgent care clinic, where Huzzband met us. After x-rays, I was sent across town to an orthopedic surgeon: I had a dislocated shoulder! Ouch! If you've never done that, don't. It freakin' hurts. I wore that ugly patient gown across town to the surgeons office and my Huzzband teased me when we walked in, "I bet you feel waaay underdressed, huh?" Lucky for him, my sense of humor is as great as my tolerance for pain. I told the medical staff that the first person to relieve my pain was going to be my new BFF AND that I'd bake them a cake. The heavens parted and in walked a guy with a needle and a bottle of novocaine! HALLELUJAH! Once that took effect, the surgeon had me relax my arm, then with a gentle tug, popped that sucker back into place! My shoulder was gnarled up in excruciating pain for three hours before it was fixed. Now, I'm in a sling (ugly medical blue) for two weeks but who cares?! "Wow...what else can happen?"

Sunday, that's what else. You didn't really think that was gonna be it? Do you read ANY of my posts?? The baby burst into tears at lunch and covered her ear. She got hauled to the urgent care clinic (since we're like family there) and was diagnosed with a major double ear infection. Long story short: antibiotics.

Moral of the story: Never, ever, ever utter the words, "What else can happen?!"
God has a sense of humor, too, you know.