You Found What Where?!

I hope I'm not alone in this ritual of escapism I've developed. The one where I sit here zoned out in front of this computer when I should be cleaning, organizing, and just being a productive member of society. Gah, it makes me tired just typing all those verbs.

I used to be so energetic! My house was relatively cleaned on a routine basis, I used to cook big country suppers every night, laundry never got taller than my knees, and I even exercised. What happened??! That once-perfect apartment I kept so chic and smelling good with candles burning? History. I know now that having a small space can be a blessing! This house is three times bigger than that apartment and I've acquired three times the headache keeping it ....no, I'm not even going to type "clean" because that's just not how it is. I remember being soooo excited when I finally got that extra-deep stainless steel kitchen sink! Reality check: that just means you can pile even more dirty dishes up before you're guilted into loading them into the AUTOMATIC DISHWASHER! File that little tip away under 'LAZY'.

Let's talk about my other nemesis: laundry. Where the hell to I even start with this one? God love my best friend, because she is the only one outside this house that knows first-hand that my hallway IS my laundry basket. She never judges. Still, it's easier to keep up with the Kardashians than to keep up with our laundry, and here's why. It's July...summer vacation and hot as hades, yet in the hamper I find a winter coat and long school uniform pants. I'm not done. I also find a pair of scissors, two stuffed animals, a doll head, a kitchen fork, a Pull-Up, and the lid to a cardboard box. If I'm lying, I'm dying. The two youngest "cleaned" their room, and now I see how they made so much progress. I could go on about this subject but you don't have the time and I don't have the energy.

Alright, so if eeeeeverything worth having is piled up in the hallway dirty, what in the world did the girls wear to town today? Let me simply say nothing matched and I didn't care. It was clean and covering all necessary parts. I used to see Those Moms before and think, "Ugh...I'm gonna dress my kids sooo cute all the time."
Pffft. You'll wear whatever you have that's this side of being arrested and doesn't need ironing. Frosty spilled down the front of your white shirt? Aw, nobody will even notice. You say your wearing two different flip flops? That's great! We only have to go to the bank, grocery, and Lowe's. **insert sarcastic face here**

I do love being a parent, but there are days when I just have to put the brakes on.
I just wish there could be a better balance the majority of the time. Putting things back where they found them might help offset those times when I find they've honest-to-goodness wrapped the dog in an entire spool of tulle in the backyard, and one end is tethered to the swing. If you think I'm making up any bit of this, I invite you to come spend the day with us. I dare you.

~DPG