Navy SEAL Girl Scouts

**WARNING -- THIS POST CONTAINS A BAD ATTITUDE. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED**

I'm not necessarily in a bad mood or anything, but I have got to air a gripe. When the crap did Girl Scouts of America get so dang bold and annoying? They just don't quit and they are everywhere you don't want them to be! Now, before anybody out there gets up on their high horse, I need to tell you that as a former GS (and Brownie, thank you very much) I feel I have the right to speak on this subject.

It had to be the late seventies or early eighties when I was in the GS mix and sold those saaame cookies. Although back then, you didn't have to take out a small line of credit to order several boxes. I barely remember selling them door-to-door, but can tell you with much assurance, these timid brown eyes DID take no for an answer. There was no "push"...no "pressure". You knoked, got an order(or not)then schlepped along to the next house. That's not the case of the GS of today, at least not in Baldwin Co. They are everywhere, like a little army. Complete with Sniper Girl Scouts. Those are the ones that are NOT dressed in any sort of uniform identifying themselves. They're the ones that catch you off guard with their drill-sergeant voices booming in your face, but all giggly in the same breath: "Wanna buy some cookies?" Where is your mom/leader anyway? Oh, wait, I see her...holding up that terrible homemade sign on the side of a busy state highway outside the Lowe's.
Tell her that her arm flailing and jumping doesn't win me over. It only makes me take the long way around.

So, there they were crawling all over at Lowe's, but I escaped. I went about running my errands and I was getting pretty tired, but I still had another stop to make: Sam's Club. I despise having to shop there because it takes forever and a day to check out. Whomever I meet after that may as well consider themselves behind the proverbial eight ball. You know what I'm gonna say, too. Thankfully, their table was only at one of the three entrances and I was not about to be captured by their little army. I'd even let an elderly civilian lady face the brunt of the mob when we both happened to walk in at the same time. Oh, well...she should have worn her good compression socks and walked a little faster like me. On the way out, Sniper GS cornered me: "Would you like to buy some of our cookies? This is the last weekend." "Hell no, I don't want any cookies...didn't you just see me come out of Sam's where I can buy 1,000 for $10?" *eyeroll* Okay, I didn't really say that last part, but I sure wanted to.

Just seeing them everywhere I went that day was grating on my nerves, and I don't really have a particular reason. No, wait, I do. It just irks me that these little girls are so aggressive and have an in-your-face sales approach. Do they really go to boot camp? Whatever. I was tired and I since I hadn't had one in a while, a beer sounded good. It was dusk now, as I pulled across the way to the Shell station.
"Shit! Girl Scouts!" I kid you not, there was a minivan backed up to the front door, truck door flung up to heaven and they were still hawking cookies!! "Ma'am, do you want to buy some GS cookies?" "Nope", I answered without flinching and sashayed right on into The Beer Cave to get what I (now so desperately) needed.

Plus, cookies and beer doesn't have the same ring to it anyway. Pbbttt. It's out of my system now, at least until next spring.

DPG